Have you tried taking screens away?

How did it go?

And how long did it last?

It’s not easy, is it?

If you want the tl;dr, it’s this: cold turkey is the only way. You have to give it up completely. And you have to do it for long enough that your child gets out of the habit of wanting screens, that she forgets they are even a possibility. Hide them, bury them in the garden. Do whatever you have to do to make sure the screen time thought isn’t triggered.

OK, all that sounds quite extreme. Most people aren’t ready for it straight away. But until your child has the time and space to realise that screens aren’t coming back - and that she is responsible for her own fun - you’ll never truly break free.

Don’t worry, we’ll take baby steps. As we’ll see, a three-week break is the gold standard, but let’s start with a day and see how that goes.

Why Cold Turkey Works

Screens are designed for maximum engagement, offering instant gratification through bright colours, quick changes, and stimulating interactions that lead to frequent dopamine release. Over time, this overstimulation can make it harder for children to engage in slower, more focused activities and to tolerate even mild boredom. Research has shown that excessive screen time may impact brain areas related to attention, self-regulation, and language development, as well as lower the quality of sleep and increase emotional volatility.

Going cold turkey is a way to help the brain reset, providing a break from these constant stimuli and giving your child the chance to rediscover the benefits of non-screen activities. While three weeks is ideal for noticeable changes (I’ll explain the reasons why in the bonus modules), even a single day of “fasting” from screens can bring benefits. With any duration of screen-free time, you’re helping your child to:

• Rebuild focus and attention. Without screens, your child can slowly adapt to concentrating on activities that require sustained attention, such as reading, drawing, or independent play.
• Enhance creativity and imagination. Boredom, often masked by screen use, can actually fuel creativity, pushing children to invent games, tell stories, or build with open-ended materials.
• Strengthen emotional regulation. When children don’t rely on screens to manage emotions, they’re more likely to develop independent calming skills, resulting in fewer meltdowns and a more balanced mood.
• Improve sleep habits. Without the blue light and constant stimulation of screens, your child’s sleep cycle can return to a more natural rhythm, supporting better rest and an improved mood during the day.

The three-week detox plan

If the idea of going screen-free for three weeks feels overwhelming, you’re not alone. Many parents feel this way at first - I know I did - but the benefits soon become clear. And remember: even a single day of reduced screen time can be powerful – start where you’re comfortable, then build from there.

Here’s a step-by-step guide.

1. Prepare your child (and yourself) for the detox

This detox isn’t just about taking away screens – it’s about creating an environment where new, enriching activities fill that gap. Start by explaining to your child why this change matters, so she knows this is an exciting chance to explore new fun together.

• Tip. Create a list of engaging, screen-free activities ahead of time. Plan options like outdoor play, arts and crafts and unstructured time. I give many more ideas for this in Screen-Free Saturdays but, for now, just focus on making things fun. In the Play with Purpose house, I knew that I couldn’t just take screens away and expect my children to happily get on with something else in the same room as they had always had their screen time. You need a change of routine, a pattern interrupt (more on this in a later email). My goal with Screen-Free Saturdays is to keep your input to a minimum. We are creating independent self-starters who make their own fun but, at first, you might have to be involved to keep things moving. With my children, it was rollerblades for the girls and a basketball hoop for the boys. The boys got a bit of responsibility, too, going into shops alone to buy things while I stood outside. The girls (who are younger), were allowed to ‘bake’ their own cakes, with free (and very messy) access to anything in the baking cupboard. The point is, I had to be involved, but they spent a whole day without screens and they didn’t realise it had happened. Obviously, this isn’t sustainable long term. It demands too much of our time and it can get expensive! But, to begin with, it’s a great way to break the cycle.
• Let your child contribute. Involve her by asking what activities sound fun without screens. This builds excitement and gives her a sense of ownership.

2. Set clear boundaries

Once the detox begins, it’s crucial to establish and stick to clear, consistent rules. Explain that screens are off-limits during this time – including TV, tablets, phones, and video calls (if possible).

• Get the whole family involved. Try making it a shared family goal. Everyone can join the challenge and discover new ways to spend time together, screen-free.
• Hold firm. Expect a bit of resistance, but reassure them with compassion. Staying consistent is key to success.

3. Expect some resistance

In the first few days, your child may struggle with adjusting. Complaints or pushback are normal. Screens have been a comforting habit, and adapting to a new routine takes patience.

• Tip. Provide alternatives like games, books, or outdoor activities. Keep encouraging her and stay positive during these initial adjustment days. My number one tip is to get outside. You can’t be unhappy when you’re outdoors. It’s the immutable law of childhood. If tempers fray, open the door and take a walk.
• Offer support. Help them find new activities, be present with them emotionally, and remind them that they’ll discover new ways to have fun.

4. Monitor the changes

As the detox progresses, you’ll notice positive changes. Your child will become more creative, attentive, and engaged in independent play. Her mood will improve, she will sleep better. Family life will be calm. Honestly, this is a promise.

• Journal the progress. I’m not the journaling type, though I’ve found it helpful at certain times in my life. But I love to track results. Whether you journal or simply track the number of screen-free hours that day, writing something down can be hugely motivating. They had three hours of screens today. Ugh! might be a demoralising journal entry, but if its preceded by days with 5 hours and then four, it’s easy to reframe it in a positive light.
• Celebrate small wins. Each time your child finds an activity she enjoy without screens, acknowledge it! Positive reinforcement boosts confidence in the new routine.

5. Reintroducing screens – if you choose to

After the detox, you may want to reintroduce screens in a limited way that’s intentional and well-structured. The key is to set boundaries that prevent slipping back into old habits.

• Establish clear limits. Consider allowing screens only at designated times, like 30 minutes a day or an hour at weekends.
• Make screen time purposeful. Opt for engaging, educational content rather than passive entertainment.
• Reinforce your limits. Let your child know the new screen rules are here to stay – consistency is crucial for maintaining the benefits of the detox. This is where we are in the Play with Purpose house. We have set times of the week: never on a school day and an hour a day at the weekend. It works. But only because the children know I’ll enforce it. No amount of pleading will get them screens at another time. Of course, there has to be room for flexibility. That’s a strength, not a weakness.

Lastly, there will be times when things slip. And that’s OK. We all have busy or stressful seasons when we rely on the crutch that screen time provides. But, having had a glimpse of a happier, more peaceful childhood, we’ll want to get back on track. When screens come back, so too will the dysregulation and the conflict. And that means that it’s time for another detox. The good news is that this time it won’t take three weeks. Everyone knows the routine, and your child will be secretly grateful to get back to a calmer life.

Children need to feel safe. They see the dangers of screens, even if they can’t articulate it. They crave the calm of unstructured play but they can’t break the habit. You have to help. Even though they’ll resist, in their hearts they’ll know that you are protecting them. And they’ll be grateful.

What’s the alternative?

Going screen-free, even for a day, is daunting. You can already see the tantrums and complaints on the horizon. But what’s the alternative?

What will things look like in a year if nothing changes?

More screens? More meltdowns? If you’re reading this it’s because you’ve probably already reached your limit. I can tell you from experience that if an eight year-old wants an hour of screens, a ten-year-old wants two. And she wants to watch more grown up things. And she knows how to get around parental controls.

Don’t go there.

If your child believes she has a right to screens, if she is in the habit of grabbing one the moment she gets home, the complaints will be all the louder when you try to take them away. The longer she depends on screens, the harder it will be to set limits. See this email’s post script for a message I received from a long-time subscriber on this subject. It’s an uplifting story. It can be your story too.

By taking breaks now, you’re not just managing screens - you’re reshaping your child’s relationship with them.

Up next: Set up your home for screen-free success

Tomorrow, I’ll walk you through how to create a screen-free, enabling environment - a space that makes play easy and inviting without the need for screens. With a few simple changes, your home can become a place that encourages creativity and independent play naturally.

The long-term view

Remember, small wins add up. If three weeks feels too long, start with a day or an afternoon. By holding firm, you’re showing your child that screens don’t control her life - and over time, she’ll learn that she can thrive without them.

Imagine what life could look like if you started today. Your child will gain a sense of control, learn to entertain herself, and - most importantly - grow into someone who can navigate the world confidently without needing constant screen stimulation.

Take today’s challenge and start small. Tomorrow, we’ll focus on setting up your home for screen-free success.

Warmest wishes,

Alexis

P.S. Following the launch of this series, a long-time reader, Melissa Towler got in touch. Her story is inspiring.

Hi Alexis,

Just wanted to share my own perspective - life is so much easier and better without screens.

I cut them out completely when my eldest was 2 & 1/2 and my youngest daughter was a new born so she was never exposed.

That 30 minutes a day that my eldest had was slowly increasing with a second child and the outcry at the end of those 30 minutes was intensifying. Plus, I had to run around doing everything in that 30 minutes. I’d just found 100 toys, and was very influenced by your approach, the exposure to grapat and grimms led to me reading up further into a Steiner approach, simplifying our play spaces, integrating a craft schedule and completely cutting out screens.

When I cut it out it was hard at first as a single mother of 2, I slowly chipped away at my tasks during the day, but it meant my children also wanted to help. In the beginning it did mean me helping them to help me, but they learnt so much that now my 7 year old can pretty much take over in the kitchen with a little help. I think cutting out the screens meant they didn’t miss out on these real life experiences. They have this ‘can do’ problem solving approach to life that I never had as a child…

Slide forward to today - when my four year old with no screen exposure left nursery, I was told that you can tell her upbringing is different as she engages in her play in a way no other children do, and her imagination never ceases to amaze us.

My girls (4 & 7) come in from school and play, get out their own books to read, and grab things from the craft cupboard to make something when needed. They will help if i’m in the kitchen, but get on with their own things if I need to work.

This was an investment in the beginning, but none of us have time for screens now it’s been established - I wish more people knew this.

Best,

Melissa

And in a later reply, she wrote this:

And actually it was your articles and guides on 100 toys that guided so many of the positive changes in our lives. It led to me simplifying our play spaces, guided the introduction of open-ended play, and your experiences gave me the determination to create something similar for my children (e.g., Christmas being about crafts). So, credit is certainly due! (I believe I wrote a review around three years ago on the positive impact your method had on our family.)

I’ve also just read your post and completely agree with the approach you’ve set out to reduce screen exposure - I hope other families can benefit from this advice.

Thank you again for your kind words. Parenting is challenging, but having a home filled with play, crafts and real food is such a blessing, and your work definitely helped us in getting here.

I’m not sure how much credit I can take. It was all down to Melissa’s hard work and determination. But I hope these messages help you to see that there is another way. We’re not condemned to a lifetime of screens.